Wednesday, 1 April 2009

“The Dirty Capitano” - can this be legal ??

The Dirty Capitano

by Captain Crank It !

1 April 2009

(yes I know it’s April fools day, but this is serious mate, forREAL, I had the first EVA this morning).


  • High end – TOP QUALITY Coffee

  • Full Fat Coke

  • Bidden


Making Dirty Coffee - The day before

  • Take HIGH END – TOP QUALITY coffee and place in low end - dodgy drip or try-hard espresso machine – brew that 5HIT UP !!

  • If espresso machine add hot water so you have volume approximating a small mug

  • Let stand for 24 ish hours for a REALLY Dirty Coffee (dirty being old and stale - 12 ish hours will do if you’re pushed for time)

THE MIX - Ride / Race / Exam day

  • Half fill a cycling bidden – 300-350ml with DIRTY COFFEE

  • Add 300-350ml Full Fat Coke

BINGO BANGO, you’re done.

My first sampling was this morning, had a 3 hour spin on very tired legs, started sipping on the Dirty Capitano about 90 minutes in ,,,



5HIT Bi-ATCH-es,

It’s got a kick like a MULE that's on Dirty Capitanosit’ll blow your head clean off !!

Just got stronger and stronger as the ride progressed, seemed to have a greater effect than coffee alone, coke alone, even Redbull alone. FELT PHARKING SENSATIONAL,.. that said,,,.. unsure what I’ll be like once the uncontrollable shaking wears off.

This is going to change the world boys, the day will come when you’ll see the “Dirty Capitano” gracing the boards of many a fine coffee house, sitting along side the Doppio Espresso, Cappuccino, CafĂ© late & Macchiato.

OH, it only gets better - this on “Il Capitano” from Wiki

Il Capitano often talks at length about made up conquests of both the militaristic and carnal nature in attempts to impress others, but often only ends up impressing himself. He gets easily carried away in his tales and doesn't realise when those around him don't buy his act. He would be the first to run away from any and all battles and he has trouble enough talking to and being around women.”

No way….. Princess IS “Il Capitano”,... perhaps the mascot for the new brand.


  1. Oh man, that is phuking hysterical. I laughed very long and hard at that.

    OK - next weekend, I am getting on the Dirty Capitano and will report back. Gold!

  2. Interesting....May give it a go tomorrow!!

    What about mixing a Red Bull or Red Bull Cola? Apparently the effects of caffeine in coffee is not as great as from those in energy drinks or tablets?